I thought I had an upper hand. I read parenting books about the so-called “fourth trimester” and got the best-rated baby gear.
Instead, all my insight about babies left me clueless about YOU. And getting to know your quirks is still a daily adventure.
You teach me to embrace the unknown.
I thought I’d have a glorious, natural labor at a birth center. I’d seen the documentaries and vowed with a will of steel that I was up for the challenge.
Instead, I was in labor for days before having a C-section. You were stuck and no amount of my stubbornness was budging you.
You teach me that sometimes we have to let go of the best laid plans.
I thought I’d lose the baby weight immediately after delivery. I vowed to never make excuses about why I couldn’t get back to the gym.
Instead, my postpartum diet consisted mostly of frozen burritos eaten one-handed. You demanded to be held 24/7 and my ears and heart were too weary to argue.
You teach me to practice patience, not perfectionism.
I thought I’d be a multitasking mama. One who’d cook a gourmet dinner with you strapped to my chest.
Instead, I catch myself staring at you on the monitor or looking at pictures of you while you nap. It’s hard to be productive when I miss the smell of your perfect head.
You teach me to slow down.
I thought I’d have a laid back baby. One who’d coo at strangers and happily fall asleep in the arms of any babysitter.
Instead, you are a fiery spirit whose cries of protest are matched in passion only by your shouts of joy.
You teach me to let my feelings out, regardless of how the world receives them.
I thought I’d be a working mother who never doubted herself. One who couldn’t wait to get out of the house and back to my list of goals.
Instead, I have to pry myself away from your cuddles to get to work on time. And then I spend the drive debating whether or not I should turn back around.
You teach me to see the bigger picture.
I thought I’d be a pretty good mom.
Instead, you are turning me into a much better person.
You teach me more than I ever thought possible, on much less sleep than I ever imagined.